


Neon Gravestones

by sarcasmisawayoflife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 11:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17661923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasmisawayoflife/pseuds/sarcasmisawayoflife
Summary: Castiel Novak is a freshman college student fighting an internal battle. His best friend, the woman he loved, killed herself after an osteosarcoma diagnosis in her spine. In the aftermath of her death Castiel must find a way to rebuild himself without the support he relied on so heavily. While attending group therapy, Castiel is confronted with the man he thought he would not see again after their initial run-in at the counseling office. Dean Winchester, a brooding but kind student is also attending group therapy. As the semester progresses, the two's paths intersect in unexpected ways.





	Neon Gravestones

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! 
> 
> This is a story that I decided to write as a personal way of healing through some of the more traumatic moments in my life. While the initial description is dark, the story will have its shinning moments. 
> 
> I would appreciate any feedback you have on the chapter. This is simply a glimpse at the fic I have in mind and I would live to know if I should continue.

It was a rainy day. Fitting that Castiel would choose today of all days to complete the most emotionally draining chore he could think of. Of course, it wasn’t his decision really. He had asked the office for the soonest available appointment and they had scheduled it for this afternoon; the weather just so happened to fit the mood. This trip wasn’t something that he had planned on doing this semester. He had spoken to Jen about it more than once over the phone before… well before.   
Castiel walked up to the large, brick-faced building and stared at the sign just to the left of the double doors.

Center for Counseling, Main Office……………… 1st Floor

He grasped the metal handle on the door and pulled. Off to his left was a staircase and to the right was an entrance to the main office. He let the door slide closed behind him and stared at the one to the right of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go in, on the contrary, he very much wanted and needed to go in. What stopped him was overwhelming anxiety as he stared at the small welcome sign on the main office’s door. Cas looked beyond the sign and through the glass windows to see a petite woman sitting behind a desktop. She was focused on the screen but glanced away every so often to look at something next to her. Cas stretched out his hand to open the door but paused. Someone was walking up to the front desk. 

Light brown hair, plaid shirt, bowlegs. Cas gripped the door handle and pulled, silently entering into the room. The man at the counter was nodding along with something the woman was saying, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. Cas saw the woman smile and put up a delicate hand. 

“No need to pay yet, hun. You’ve got another three sessions covered by the university.” 

The man muttered something too low for Castiel to hear and turned away, starting a little at the realization of Cas’ emergence in the doorframe. The man pulled himself up, back ramrod straight as he looked at Castiel. Cas watched his stiff hands as he shoved his wallet back in his pocket and pulled his phone out. Cas moved a little to the side to let the man leave, pulling his sleeves down his arms as he did so. He saw the man’s eyes glance down to track his movements, stare for a moment, and then return to Cas’ face as he began approaching the door. He nodded to Cas as he gripped the handle, making his exit without another word. 

Cas watched him go for only a moment before turning back to the woman at the desk. She was smiling serenely at him, most likely trying to make him feel welcome. 

“Do you have an appointment today, or are you trying to make an appointment?” 

Cas moved forward to the desk, stopping when his waist bumped the front of it. 

“I have an appointment made already,” Castiel murmured, “but this is my first one.” 

“Well that’s alright dear let’s get you set up shall we? My name is Donna, I work the front desk here most of the time. If I’m not, there is a young woman named Claire-bit of an attitude on that one-who works here.”

Cas nodded as Donna continued her rambling, following her over to the desk in the corner where a desktop was sitting idle. 

“Alright here you go dear. Just fill out your information and answer the questionnaire to the best of your ability. When you finish you can press submit and have a seat back over in the lobby. If you need any help just give me a holler!” 

Cas sat at the desktop and stared at the screen as Donna’s figure retreated back behind her desk. The screen was a brilliant white that made an affront on Castiel’s eyes. After filling out the general information he clicked the start button and read through the first few questions.   
What brought you into the counseling center?  
How often do you drink each week?   
How many drinks a week do you have?   
Have you ever taken drugs for self medicative purposes?  
What are they?   
On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your anxiety at this moment?   
On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your depression in the past six months?   
In the past six months have you considered suicide or self harm? How often? 

At this question Castiel laughed abruptly. He laughed hard. It was a kind of hysterical laugh that made Donna look up from her computer at him as he doubled over in his seat. Did they really expect him to admit how often these thoughts had crept into his mind recently? Did they suspect that he would answer this and not need to be sent to inpatient care? 

Castiel continued to laugh until there were tears running down his cheeks and he was practically on the floor. It wasn’t until he took a deep, gasping breath that he heard Donna, the receptionist's, voice standing over him. 

“Hunny! You need to breathe. Come on let’s get you to a seat. I’ll submit this for you. Do you need some water? Oh no don’t cry! It’ll be alright. You come over here and have a seat.” 

Cas let himself be led away from the computer and back into the waiting lobby. He slowly calmed down, focusing on his breathing and accepting the water that Donna brought him from the small cooler in the corner. A few minutes passed in which Donna went back over to the computer terminal, submitted his responses for him, and made a phone call to who Castiel presumed would be his psychologist. He watched all of this at a distance, the high of his hysterics gone.   
The door across from him, to the left of Donna’s desk, opened quietly. Castiel looked up to see a shorter woman with bright red hair and wide eyes looking warmly at him from across the room. 

“Castiel?” 

He stood up, but didn’t move. The woman smiled at him and gently waved him forward. He walked over to her and stopped just through the doorway. The woman let the door close behind them and gestured in front of them. As they walked together down the hallway, the woman turned to him slightly.

“My name is Anna Milton. It’s really nice to meet you Castiel. We are going to be on the second to last door on the right.” 

They stopped at her door and Castiel paused in the doorway. 

“You can go in and pick any seat you like. I will just follow your lead.” 

Castiel briefly surveyed the room. Like the rest of the building, the walls were an off-white color. The office itself was decorated with various shades of blue and grey. Two sofas were pushed into the back right corner of the room. Two windows lined the wall across from the doorway and the blinds were pulled open. The rain had not let up from his entrance into the office, but Castiel found the sight of it against these windows comforting. He moved to the couch tucked furthest into the corner and curled his legs underneath him, adjusting the sleeves of his shirt as well. Anna took the seat opposite him and sighed quietly, removing her heels and folding her legs to the side. 

“ So Castiel,-” 

“You can call me Cas.” 

“Alright Cas. You can call me Anna. Mrs. Milton is a little formal in my opinion.” 

Cas smiled at her quip and looked out the window, watching the rain roll down the pane.

“Well Cas, why don’t we start with something simple at first? What semester of school are you in?” 

At this Castiel took a deep breath, turned to look at Anna, and began.


End file.
